21 WAYS YOU KNOW YOU HAVE STAYED IN ROOM #310 AT THE FAIRFIELD INN & SUITES IN OPELIKA, ALABAMA!
1. You have entered your key card into the slot and hope that it works. Nothing is worse than having to go down to the lobby and having them redo the key card.
2. You've memorized the rules and regulations a long time ago and know EXACTLY where to head if there is a fire.
3. You know to bring your own hangers for clothes because the ones they provide just don't do the job and tend to wrinkle your suits.
4. Despite your best effort to keep your pants and shirts wrinkle free, you ultimately know you will be bringing out this contraption sometime during your stay.
5. You cherish this piece of paper and hang it immediately on the outside of your door because, let's face it, nothing is worse than a maid knocking on the door when a hooker has just arrived.
6. No matter the season, the room always feel stuffy until you go to the thermostat. You also know that the difference between 65 degree and 68 degrees is MAJOR when it comes to this air conditioner.
7. The queen sized bed looks so inviting but you know that you still have work to get done. You will have to wait soft covers. (Note: this is not the work of the hotel staff. This is my pathetic attempt at making the bed.)
8. When you turn the television to Channel 38, you always wonder why there is a South Korean television station on cable in the Auburn/Opelika area.
9. You know there are more comfortable desk chairs in the world but this one feels exactly right when you sit down to start searching Craigslist personal ads.
10. You wonder who still uses an USB router when it is obvious the hotel has WiFi.
11. This is your Bible!
12. You have been almost out of power on your laptop but then found this which completely saved you from not answering that ONE special Craigslist response.
13. You've written down many of what you think are fake numbers on this...
14. But you have picked up this phone to dial the number from the Craigslist response anyways.
15. You have had your credit cards spread out like this trying to pick which one to use to pay for the hooker.
16. You just know that the Zima you bought for your company will end up freezing in this fridge.
17. You have looked at this clock and realize that your friend is late.
18. You have ever used this chair for acts that are banned in 22 states.
19. Using this sink has become a must to get the shame (and glitter) off of you after the deed.
20. You have ever come out of the bathroom and have found both the hooker and your credit cards to be gone.
21. But despite having to cancel your credit cards and take a weeks worth of antibiotics to get rid of that rash, you know that when you see this door there is no other place you would rather be!